Catastrophilia

Some more ways to up my self-esteem (Vain post)
Top ten reasons why I see my weird antics as an advantage in life.

1. I do not have a smart phone.
I have no access to the internet most of the time.  Which means the internet has not yet claimed my soul and days without it aren’t really life-threatening.

2. I take my time — in everything.
This makes me appreciate everything more including basic things like food and sceneries.

3. I renamed my cat Snowball when I found out (after 4 days) that she was actually a girl — Her original name was Jon Snow. Not only because she was white but because she’s an illegitimate child of her persian mother with a sly, street cat.
This is just plain awesome fact. Game of Thrones is epic. Accept it.

4. I understand everything visually.
You should see my notes. It looks like art — most days.

5. I have ADD (Yes, I went to the kitchen in between this note. And found myself folding paper cranes… Also took me another day to continue from number 9)
It may seem like a bane, but I can also be an amusing creature to watch when I start laughing out loud in a very quiet room because I was thinking of golden Harry Potter kissing golden Ron Weasley instead of Hermoine.

6. I literally scream when I see fireworks — or giant unicorn statues.
I almost caused a friend to drive her car over the flyover when I saw fireworks exploding in the sky. She has not forgiven me to this day for it. (Sorry again, Kayce.) But I have learned that to find a scream-inducing joy in things is a rare thing. I still embrace this strangeness quite fondly.

7. My goal for 2013 was to ride an elephant and have a double date with a friend.
Simple pleasures, yes. Really, you can’t go wrong with dates and elephants. Just. Don’t date elephants.

8. I am afraid of escalators.
I have this crazy notion that some final destination crap is going to kill me with an escalator. As a result, I take the stairs as much as possible which means I get to exercise more than the average lazy person. But on the other hand, I always find an elevator. Hee.

9.  I do not watch TV unless it’s History Channel or National Geographic.
I’d like to think that when I join a game show like “who wants to be a millionaire” I’d make it at least to the safe spot.

10. I do not pee in the pool.
This is simply my gift to the whole of humanity. You’re welcome, humanity.

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Bow. What’s your weird existence like?

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